Fat Shamed By Medical Profession

 I am writing to you today as a follow up to an appointment I had with you in your office 3 years ago this month, when you told me I would be in a wheelchair by now.

Dr.. D., you probably don't remember me, but you sure made an impact on me that day.

I went to my appointment with you full of anticipation and hope. It had taken approximately a year and a half from the time I first saw Dr. C. W. at the clinic in M with severe pain and swelling in my right knee. I did a follow up appt with Dr. S. A, my then family doctor (since 1995 -- I am NOT an addict), who referred me to you.

I've had pain in my knees since I was a teenager. I'm now 56 years old. When I was a child back in the 70's I was involved in figure skating, gymnastics, baton twirling and dance in addition to riding my bike just about everywhere I needed to go. At age 13 I tore the cartilage in my knee ice skating, and then did it again at age 16 landing a cartwheel roundoff combination wrong. At age 21, I again tore my cartilage at my parents' gym doing leg curls. Each time, my knee was wrapped in a tensor bandage and I was told to ice it and rest it.

I continued doing physical activities into adulthood, and as I got older I would feel pain in my knees from time to time. I could feel a crunchy, grinding-like sensation in my knees sometimes, but my mother had the same problem, my aunt, and my cousins had it too. Arthritis they said, you will learn to live with it. I did, until that fateful day in February when I could not take the pain any more, and the warm swelling concerned me. By the way, my mother, her sister and my cousins are not overweight. But I am. My mother put me on my first diet at age 10 because I weighed 90 lbs and my friends weighed around 75. By the time I was 18 years old, I weighed 155 lbs. At 5 feet 7 inches tall, according to the BMI calculator, that is overweight. However, BMI doesn't account for frame size, does it. I wear a size 10 shoe, and my wrist measures 7 inches.

By age 22, I had an eating disorder from worrying about my weight, and crash dieting. I went through 2 years of agoraphobia because of my physical appearance, I was afraid to be seen in public. At age 27, I had a nervous breakdown, was hospitalized for 6 weeks where I was diagnosed with Manic Depression with Rapid Cycles and Mixed States. I was prescribed a myriad of mood stabilizers, antidepressants, anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety and sleeping pills and have been taking them since then. All of these medications caused weight gain. I went on the Slim Fast diet, lost 60 lbs, was diagnosed with gall stones and had to have my gallbladder out. At the age of 30, I weighed nearly 300 lbs.

Just a little background info and context on me and my health because it seemed to me you never bothered to read my medical history at all.

The day I went to see you, Dr. D, I weighed 245. But you wrote down 250 and drew a big circle around the number on your notepad. 

Like I said earlier, I was full of hope and anticipation that I finally got an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon after waiting a year and a half. A friend of mine's mother assured me that you were the best, and I would be in good hands.

I remember when you walked into the exam room and the smug look of disgust on your face when you saw me. I was rather put off by that, but honestly, as an overweight person, I'm used to getting that kind of look from doctors who jump to conclusions about my weight, lifestyle and eating habits, who just assume I sit around eating cake all day and do nothing about my weight problem.

My weight seemed to be your biggest concern. I tried to tell you about hurting my knees when I was younger, and how long I had been enduring the pain, but you told me none of that mattered and the only reason my knees hurt was because of my weight. You said to me "This is how fat people walk" then put your knees together, and proceeded to waddle across the floor like a duck. You smirked at me, then you crossed your legs at the ankle, sank to the floor and back up again and said "I bet you can't do that, can you?" Then you asked how much I weighed, and you wrote down 250 instead of 245. You told me I was too young to have this problem, and that you would not operate on me because I was too fat. You told me to lose 50 lbs and then come back and see you. You didn't offer me any pain relief, or exercises to do or stretches to relieve the pain or anything, just told me to lose weight. "When you lose the weight, come back and see me" you said with another smirk, "or you will be in a wheelchair in 3 year's time."

I was mortified. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and I started to feel faint. I began to have a disassociative episode right there in your exam room. You opened the door, and I walked  out and I barely remember walking down the hall to the elevator, gasping for each breath, willing my heart to stop thumping out of my chest, and the loud rushing sound in my ears to stop..Everything around me seemed floaty. I looked for a chair or something to lean on, but not finding one I just went straight for the elevator. I couldn't wait to get outside in the fresh air. The tears started before reaching the main floor, and as I walked out in the lobby, heading for the main doors of the Georges Dumont Hospital. I felt like I was in some weird dream state: angry, disappointed, humiliated and terrified. I put my hands on the wall of the building to steady my every step. I was alone, and terrified. When I was far enough away from the front doors, I stopped and I let the tears come: I couldn't believe that I had waited a year and half to hear what I just heard from you.

I sat in my car, and I cried for a long time, willing my breath to slow down, and when I finally settled myself, I went back inside the hospital for a bottle of water. I then called Dr. A's office to make another appt with him, which I never ended up having because his 15 year old son was killed and he never came back to work. It took about a year and a half before he was replaced by Dr. G S. The day I saw her, I couldn't bend either knee more than about 30 degrees, and she requested an MRI done on my knees, and also referred me to Dr. I. I never received a call from her office, but I did finally have the MRI done last November. Of course, last March, Covid arrived in New Brunswick and everything stopped for months. I told Dr, S that I never received a call from Dr. I, so she referred me to Dr. A, who I have still not heard from.

About 3 weeks ago, my daughter informed me of her father's wife having her surgery done by Dr. A. YM is 6 years younger than me, and about 150 lbs heavier than me. Would you please explain to me how this is possible if I was "too young and too fat" for knee surgery?

What is the REAL reason why I have been waiting 4.5 years to have something done for my knees? 

Furthermore, how do you expect me to get active and lose weight when some days I can't even sit properly, and I'm in so much pain that I can't get enough sleep? 

After being on a vegetarian diet the last 11 years, hoping doing so would finally get the weight off me for good, my weight instead fluctuated the same 40+ lbs up and down for years. I tried the Keto diet, which resulted in losing 15 lbs, but also driving my cholesterol and sugar numbers up. In November, I received the diagnosis of NAFLD so I dropped all white foods, flour, sugar, bread, pasta, rice, corn and other starches. I weighed 249 lbs in November, I weigh 219 now. That's a loss of 30 lbs, and I hope to lose more. I've also decreased my anti-depressant to see if that would help in the weight loss and be an aid to healing my liver. I have been terribly sad and moody sometimes, but not suicidal, so if it helps me lose the weight, all the better right?

 Dr. D, you need some lessons in compassion, kindness and bedside manner.  I believe you violated the College of Physicians and Surgeons, Regulation #9, Item 14, which states the following : "refusing to provide professional services for a reason which, having regard to all the circumstances, would reasonably be regarded as discriminatory;"

  and also Item # 30, which clearly states that you are not to verbally abuse a patient. You have a terrible attitude towards overweight people, and I suggest you learn more about why people are overweight. Its not as simple as you think.I do not want you for a surgeon, I am terrified of you now. I suffered a traumatic experience in your office.

I'd like some answers, I'd like an apology, and I'd like to know what the medical department of this province is going to do to help me get my mobility and quality of life back.

As a tax payer and citizen of this province, a natural born Canadian, I deserve medical CARE, not humiliation, ridicule and fat shaming. I want to be able to hike, and ride my bike again, walk down hills without falling, work in my garden, go snowshoeing and ice skate. I want to be able to walk up my stairs in my own house and go to bed without pain! I want to have my quality of life back. I'm afraid of falling, and some days I can't walk where I want to without help..Yes, I am too young to have these problems!! How much longer do I have to put up with the pain? I feel like my life is on hold, and  I deserve so much better than the dismissive attitude I have received from the medical community here so far.