guillty

 of feeling sorry for myself, yep

So what if I'm in physical and emotional pain, living in poverty, with no prospects or hope for any better future when there's a war on over in Europe?

I mean, who am I to feel bad about my situation?

I'm ashamed of myself.

I'm not homeless, even if the home I have has a leaking roof with water dripping in several places. I can't use my bathtub, my toilets don't flush properly, and I'm about to run out of firewood, and March has barely begun.

I want to escape the home situation and go visit my daughter, but I don't know if my car would make it or not cause I hear a noise like something's going to fall off of it, and I think I can smell engine coolant, so likely there's a leak, and it will blow over the Cobequid mountains for sure. I want to call the mechanic, but I'm afraid of bursting into tears on the phone

I also want to call my daughter but I'm afraid of bursting into tears on the phone

She's got enough going on without having to worry about her mom's mental health.

But she's also the only person who gives a damn about me.

ugh - this is so complicated

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